Stake Conference with Elder Holland

Last weekend we had a special treat. For our Stake Conference, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles visited and was the presiding authority at each session. It turned out to be one of the most significant experiences of my life.

Over the past year or so, I have often wondered why I've been where I've been. That is, why was it the Lord's will that I take a judicial clerkship, go through POST training and wind up living in Spanish Fork? It's just seemed like our little family's progress has been on "pause" indefinitely. Don't get me wrong - I love my job and I feel like I have learned a great deal from it, my coworkers are great and the Judge has been fabulous - but we have put off a lot of important things to take it...really saving for retirement, buying a house, moving forward in a career, et cetera.

That's not to say that I'm one who believes that God micromanages events in our lives. I don't. I'm reminded of serving in the office during my mission. I remember speaking to one of my Mission Presidents while I was serving in the office. At that point I had been in the office for a while and was starting to wonder if I was only there because I had strong organizational and administrative skills. I was in charge of supplies for the mission, and my companion and I did very little proselytizing.

I had observed the Mission President and the APs make transfer changes, and it was obvious that a good portion of what they did was simple logistics. So I asked him about that. He told me that, while they prayed about every single move (and some multiple times and at length), many of them came out of necessity and his own noggin. Others, he said, he felt strong spiritual promptings and was given to know that the Lord had specific reasons for sending Elders or Sisters to certain places at certain times.

So I nodded (I imagine somewhat grimly) and said something about how if the office was where I was needed, then that was that. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me that, while he didn't know the reason for my long office stay, my calling to that area had not been a simple logistical necessity, but something of the other sort.

To make a long story short, by the time I left the office I had come to know he was right, and I have been very grateful since for that portion of my mission.

Elder Holland's visit had the same kind of effect. I feel strongly that the reason I took the law clerk/bailiff job, the reason we slid with a great deal of luck into our SF apartment, and the reason I was called into the Elder's Quorum Presidency (again...) was to go to the Priesthood Leadership Meeting of Stake Conference held last Saturday. Saying it was exceptional would be an understatement of colossal proportions.

Not to use too many previous experiences as metaphors for what this was like, but I can only think to describe it like when I first learned how to read. I can vividly remember driving around in my parent's old boat-like cadillac, and being absolutely thrilled that I could read the words on the signs. It was like a flip had been switched and a whole new world of understanding and comprehension had been opened for me.

It's like this. I've read the standard works. Several times, some of them dozens of times. I listen to General Conference. I rarely hear a quotation or story in Church meetings that I'm not familiar with. But walking out of that meeting was like learning how to read. I felt like the meaning and signifigance, the depth of the Gospel, and my place in it, had taken a leap akin to going from liking the way letters are shaped to being able to understand the word and meaning they conveyed.

I don't think I could do justice to Elder Holland's messages during the three session I was able to go to, so I won't attempt to reproduce or summarize them in this forum. But I feel humbled and, yet again, remarkably blessed. Sometimes we don't see the hand of the Lord in our lives until after the fact; it's another reason to have faith when things are most unclear to us.